Buying pads after prostate surgery: Dick's story

The chemist trip

This is Dick's story, not medical advice. Your doctor, continence nurse or physio can help with your own situation.

Richard "Dick" Gorman had an excuse in mind for buying pads. They were for a neighbour. A neighbour with a broken leg, as it happened. Then he went into the chemist and bought them anyway. No neighbour required. Read Dick's chemist story.

That is quite a story to invent just to make a purchase. If you are wondering how to ask for pads after prostate surgery, you can probably see where he was coming from. Saying the words out loud might be the bit you are dreading.

You can be a grown man and still wish someone else would ask the question for you.

A leaky laugh

Dick talks about wearing pads and leaking when he laughed unexpectedly with mates who told jokes. "Pissing yourself laughing" gets a very literal outing in his telling.

You can laugh along and still think, bloody hell, that sounds awkward. Both are allowed. You do not have to become the bloke who tells everyone about his pads. If you want to talk to a mate, you get to choose how much to say. A joke is welcome if it is yours. So is a straight answer.

Finding the words

If you are rehearsing the conversation before walking into the chemist, keep it simple. Nobody needs the neighbour's life story. A few ways to start:

• "I need to ask about pads. I'm finding this a bit embarrassing."
• "Is there somewhere we can talk privately?"
• "Who can I speak to about the leaks I'm having?"

Pick the words that sound like you. You can write the question down if saying it feels like too much of a performance. You can also say that you do not know what to ask. Start there. No grand speech needed.

If you are reading this with your partner, show them the bit that bothers you. The purchase? The word "pads"? Having to explain yourself? You can name that bit without trying to explain everything at once.

Beyond the counter

The chemist trip is part of Dick's wider recovery conversation. He remembers visiting the surgeon's nurse to have his catheter removed. He also talks about the physiotherapy he had after surgery.

The episode gets into the unglamorous stuff: the nurse visit, the pads and the laughs. You can follow Dick's other bladder conversations if that is the part you want to hear more about.

For now, you might just want to get one awkward question out. Fair enough. Bring this page along if it gives you a starting point. Your version can be as simple as saying you need a hand knowing where to begin.

The PCFA and Cancer Council links below have more Australian information.